I’ve seen a lot of support for the father who shot his daughter’s
laptop and posted it to Facebook. I know
while watching it on screen it seems funny, but, if this is reality, there’s nothing
funny about it.I wish people would put themselves in the daughter’s shoes. Not that she doesn’t deserve consequences for her rant on Facebook, but she has a father whose solution is to use a .45 caliber gun and shoot her laptop. What’s wrong with this picture? So many things are wrong…
1. His reaction is
equally juvenile – you can’t discipline immaturity with immaturity.
2. His reaction is
violent – he didn’t have to use a gun. A
hammer would have the same effect. Or,
how about this? Wipe everything off the
laptop and donate it to charity. Same
effect but better message.
3. He complains about
her swearing in the post all the while swearing away himself.
4. His solution to
her rant is to embarrass her in front of all of her friends. He’s retaliating, not parenting.
What happens after that post? What does he do that we don’t see on
Facebook?
Those of us with teens have all been on the brink of
ultimate frustration, but fighting fire with fire will only lead to more drama
and pain down the road.
Yeah, Dad, you got your fifteen minutes of fame and
embarrassed your daughter on Facebook, but long term, what did you accomplish
other than to alienate her even further?
What are your thoughts?
I completely agree! Maybe try sitting down and talking to her?! From his video it is so easy to see how she could have posted something like that in the first place. YOU are the one that raised her. I know that children and teens are individuals, but most likely their personality is a direct reflection of their parental guidance. Regardless, attitude is not about wanting to cause harm. It's because SHE is feeling unsafe in her life. "Coming of age" is hard to deal with. They are seeing the reality of the world for the first time. They are meeting the not-so-nice aspects of life. It creates such confusion, heartbreak, and disappointment that they have to deal with it somehow. They need to be told that it will be okay, not shown that even their parents do not understand how they feel; that even their parents are part of the not-so-nice aspects of life. Create a safe place again!
ReplyDeleteI saw the video as well on FB (posted by a family member). I decided to not click on Like. I am with you on some of these points.
ReplyDeleteWhat we do greatly influences what our kids do. "His reaction is equally juvenile – you can’t discipline immaturity with immaturity." Exactly.
With the laptop- he made sure that all knew how much was spent on the laptop- and then he just threw away his money. Your suggestion would have been much much better.
This father claims to be an IT guy. If that's the case, there are many ways he can keep his daughter offline other than shooting her laptop. He could block Facebook at the router, he could disable her network card, he could simply take the laptop away. This seems more about being macho than about being a parent. I see he's in pain over her actions, and I feel for him, but someone has to be the adult and in this case nobody was.
ReplyDeleteI watched the video- the only swearing he did was while reading the rant from his daughter- it was her words, not his. Other than that, I could agree with your points, but as a parent I support his right to discipline her as he sees fit. He paid for the laptop and perhaps shooting it was the only way to truly make sure she wouldn't be using it. Also, this wasn't her first offense so I can see why he'd be more extreme in his action this time around.
ReplyDeleteMary, Actually, he does use a** in his rant and his fifteen year old needing a job. However, I guess it's perspective on what swearing is. I just have to wonder what the lesson was? I am all for appropriate discipline. What lesson was his daugther to take away from this? Get caught and there will be extreme measures taken? I believe there are many more constructive ways to handle this what put the focus on correcting the behavior. It just seems to me this situation will continue to escalate. Thoughts? April
ReplyDeleteI agree with you -- the Dad is not addressing the problem - he is ranting on facebook - and hiding it from his daughter - because she won't be able to see it on her laptop. He is acting exactly like his immature daughter. He should lead by example....
ReplyDelete