To Dye or Not to Dye - 42 and Growing Grays

So, I colored my hair last night.  No, not a different color, exactly…  See, I have really dark brown hair naturally – the problem is that I'm starting to see grays creeping in.  And…  They are multiplying.

My mother colored her hair for as long as I can remember.  Even as a child, the ritual stuck out to me.  She went with black.  I tried to explain to her that we are Caucasian, so, black, not so much.  But, black it is.  She was old-school though – ask her and she will swear up and down it’s natural.  She’s in her late 60’s now, and from what I hear, it’s still black. 

My father has this gorgeous, soft silver hair.  Since we live so far apart, I remember the first time I visited and the silver had taken over.  Very distinguished on a man…

So, now I’m going gray.  As far as I can tell, it’s that beautiful silver my dad has; however, it’s not soft.  It’s wiry.  Like stick straight out of my head wiry.  Like run your fingernail along it and it curls up like a bow wiry.  Urgh!

So, for now, I’m electing to color it albeit just dyeing it to match the hair that hasn’t succumbed to stress and old age. 

What I don’t know is when it is time to commit to gray?  I mean, I’ll be forty-two in July.  That seems young enough to stay in denial.  50?  60?  At what point do I give up all pretense and let it ride? 

And how exactly does one go gray?  Slowly, just let it happen.  Or, overnight?  Like buy a silver dyeing kit and go for it?  For that matter, what hairstyle is apropos for wiry?  Short?  Will I look like I’ve stuck my finger in a socket?  Or long…  Hoping the length will keep it under control? 

I guess only time will tell, but if you have advice, I’d sure love to hear how you grew gray gracefully!