Thursday, June 16, 2011

Parenting - Feast or Famine

We’ve had quite a week!  My sister’s family has been out, and we have had a blast.  Daily the pool has been filled with kids.  We’ve had a graduation with a big party afterwards, bowling, Frisbee golf, eaten out several times, a trip to Discovery Place and IMAX, an excursion to the Reed Gold Mine, and fun at Dan Nicholas Park.  It should be a kids dream.

But…  Tomorrow my middle son has the chance to go to the local amusement park with friends and we’ve said no.  We have good reasons:

1.  He has a doctor’s appointment that we’ve already canceled two times. 
2.  There’s a lot to get done around here.
3.  It’s my hubby’s last day off.
4.  We’re nervous about him riding with a teenage driver.

So.  We’ve gone directly from feast to famine.  Suddenly, we’re unreasonable, no-fun parents.  I can accept that.  There’s a part of my heart that understands how much fun it sounds like to go.  But…  There’s also a part that says – “Hey, you’ve had a blast this week.  Give a little!”

The hubby even offered to take him to the park after the doctor’s appointment and pick him back up.  Not good enough.  I know he’s just mad.

Parenting is a challenge, constantly. It’s been a rough week for hubby as he’s been in altercations with all three teens. Not the best week before Father’s Day.

I've come to realize - it is as important for kids to hear "no" as it is for us to provide for them. If all they ever hear is "yes", the expectation is life is like that. I want - I get. We all know that's not how it rolls. We're working on "no" one situation at a time. It doesn't feel good for anyone, but it's a reality teens especially need to learn.

Are you good at saying no?


  1. Hi - stopping by from voiceboks. Making our plans to visit the OBX of NC in a few weeks!! Have a great weekend!!

  2. Urg! I hate saying no! And my kids always argue with me whenever I do say no and it drives me nuts! But sometimes, as parents, we have to put our feet down and say that terrible 2 letter word!
    Visiting ya from Voiceboks!
    Ro :)

  3. Hi,

    Stopping by from VB!

    I think I have no choice but to say no, because most of the people in my daughter's life tell her yes. My hubby is not as bad as her grandparents and aunts and uncles, but he's a lot more lax with her than I am too. I feel like I've been given the role of "fun governer" and don't get the chance to do something nice for her very often. That if I do I'm just going to help turn her into a spoiled brat. It really sucks. LOL But so far she is a great kid, so I guess it all works out.


  4. i completely agree. sometimes not enough "no's" are being thrown at children these days. Your son is still very cute even though he has a pouty face =)

  5. great blog! Visiting from VoiceBoks! Your newest follower! Would love it if you would check out my blog and follow too! Thanks!

  6. Yes I say no easily, they tell be I am evil, horrible etc and I tell them it is all part of my plan to torture them...and it is working. Then I go into the privacy of my room and second guess myself and worry. But the SHOW must go on and frankly you are right no is just as important as yes. Just dropping by form voiceboks

  7. Sounds like you had a busy and fun week. Following you from VoiceBoks!~Lisa
    I am all a twitter about life
    Find Me on Twitter

  8. Hi Rachel, That's not my boy. He won't let me get anywhere near him with a camera when he's grumpy. Had to find a sub. :-)


  9. I LOVE the picture with the hat & the face! Priceless.

    Saying no sucks. I hate saying no to my husband too, but it must be done. I remind my kids that I know they're miserable & I'm right there with them. I don't want them to be unhappy, but the real world is full of no's. No, I can't have the whole month off with pay, no, I can't eat for free and no, I can't wear that out of the store without paying.

    Stay strong mama. Our parents told us no too and we're just fine
    Sharon from voiceBoks

  10. Kids are so dramatic. You could buy them the moon, but if you tell them no to a pebble, they declare you unreasonable and mean. LOL! I would have said no too with all that going on.

    Visiting from VB!

  11. Saying yes is always the easiest way out. Yes, I always say No, when I have good reasons It's not fun though, but children need to accept that.
    Visiting from VB.

  12. I loved this post. Saying no is important and my parents seemed to have a better grasp of the balance between saying no and when to relax a bit and allow a more permissive environment. I struggle with consistency and tenacity. My incredible husband usually steps in when I am particularly off kilter and heroically delivers the perfect response. Amazes me.

  13. I think you do have to say no. My husband was really good at letting his girls present an argument to him, knowing that he would evaluate it, based on its merits and then give them an answer. He would also let them come back with a new one, if they wanted to try again. They have to be a little older for this, but it does let them really use their brains, and the "no" answer spurs them to think harder about their presentation the next time. They also feel respected, and it helps them to understand your argument of saying "no":)
    Stopping in from vB...

  14. First of all, I have to say that the photo is perfect. Secondly, I agree with the word 'NO'. If not overdone, it can be a great teaching tool for our kids. It's amazing to me how fast a child can forget all the fun they've had. My 15 year old daughters favorite phrase this summer is "It is so boring here, I never get to do anything fun!"

    I'm going to start making a list of all the fun things shes doing and stick it on the fridge to remind her of how picked on she really


Thank you for commenting - I love to hear your thoughts!